This is it.

 

One of the fundamentals of mindfulness practice is non-judgment. The broader meaning is that when I meditate, I do not need to analyze, categorize, interpret or assess my experience. I just need to experience it, be aware of it. In another sense, however, it means that I won’t judge myself harshly because I’ve been away from the cushion for a while. I can simply acknowledge that this past semester at Little Town U (where I teach composition, literature, Honor’s English and Creative Writing) kicked me to the curb then stomped on me with its steel-toed boots. Would it have been better if I’d stuck with my daily practice throughout the pummeling? Doesn’t matter. That’s the past. What matters is what I do NOW.

I’ve been re-centering a bit by reading Jon Kabat-Zinn’s Wherever You Go, There You Are. It’s mostly common sense stuff, clearly written in small snippets (the average attention span of an adult is around 15 minutes…is it any wonder we have trouble with our practice?). The jewel I’ve discovered so far in the reading is this truth: “This is it.” To be fully present in the moment, to be awake in the moment, I need to remember that this moment is ALL – literally. The past is gone, the future hasn’t happened yet, and I mustn’t let these precious, present moments slip by unnoticed while I live in regret, nostalgia, apprehension or anticipation (no matter WHAT Carly Simon says).

The other gem is Kabat-Zinn’s reminder that mindfulness isn’t about going somewhere, attaining something, or altering anything. It’s a chance to STOP. It’s a breath. It’s making yourself mindful of the fact that you’ve stopped and are breathing.

So here we are. Again. This is it.