The Not-So-Still, Small Howard Within

I’m currently distracted to the point of twitching eyelids with this break-neck, downhill-speeding semester. So, in my daily practice, I struggle to rein in the wild pony that stamps, bolts, rears up & whinnies its way through my attention on the breath. 

It’s not that thoughts (my little pony…let’s call him Howard) are bad, or that I’m a bad person for not being able to take charge yet. After all, Howard’s a spoiled pony and has had pretty much free reign (har har…a horsey joke) for decades. 

So don't give up. Keep practicing. And lest you feel as if you’ll never have control, and you may as well throw the barn doors open wide, leave your pony’s fate to the wind, and walk away from the cushion wringing your hands, this was my crazy trail ride today as I did my best to peacefully abide…

• Breathe in 2, 3, 4. Breathe out 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
• Just breathe. That’d be a good start.
• Chipping sparrow.
• That triangle of light on the crystal lotus flower…that’s me, seated here.
• 17 is a good number.
• Ow. My back muscles are sore.
• Breathe in the Whole Universe.
• Breathe out the small me.
• Water.
• Let your shoulders fall.
• Breathe.
• Breathe.
• Did I enter those quiz grades?
• Stay here.
• Pine. Incense. Colorado Blue Spruce.
• Breathe in.
• Let go.
• Whoa, Howard. Whoa…