The upshot, in terms of meditating, is that I’ve had no regular schedule lately and have often been away from my cushion. This made me realize that I’ve been as much a slave to PLACE as I had been to TIME. I thought about Buddha, and about the film (and novella) Siddhartha. In both cases, the Enlightened One and his devotees practiced wherever they happened to be – on the road at the edge of town, in the forest, on the riverbank – and whenever they wanted/needed to. So I followed their lead. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been sneaking in 10 minutes here, 15 minutes there, even 5 minutes if that’s all I can muster. And I’ve practiced in my office, in my car (parked), even in a meeting once. I realized that I don’t have to go to my practice – my practice is with me, wherever I go. A liberating realization.
The other thought that occurred to me recently was this: when I’m practicing, I’m holding my little mind, my toddler mind, to the breath. This “distraction” keeps the little mind out of the way, allowing the Big Mind the freedom to be what it is – expansive, fluid, connected to and part of everything. This was a little uncomfortable at first, because, of course, the little mind is a busy-body and wants to analyze what the Big Mind might be doing. But eventually, I figured it’s about trust – I keep the little mind still and trust that the Big Mind is cut loose somehow...off being spacious and unfettered...off BEING.
Yeah, I know there aren’t really two minds...that any notion of separation is illusion. But at this toddler stage of my development, it’s a good motivator to keep me practicing if I think of my time on the cushion as a gift, a release, for the Big Mind. So stay, little mind…stay.
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