Hit & Miss & Bliss

I teach composition, literature and creative writing at our local university. It’s the start of a new semester, always a buy time for me, fraught with anxiety and stress. And there’s a certain amount of melancholy, too, over summer’s departure and the looming prospect of another South Dakota winter. The frantic pace and emotional upheaval isn't helping my currently hit & miss meditation practice. But when I DO make myself sit, I always find that the practice DOES help my frantic pace and emotional upheaval. You’d think I’d learn, but I’m a stubborn human.

What’s really been helping me lately is forgiving myself for being a lazy practitioner, letting go of guilt when I miss days, and embracing the truth that it’s the joy of the practice that matters – whenever it happens – not being a slave to routine. Bringing these things to mind today before sitting made my practice more peaceful, more focused. And I found I was able to keep my attention more fully on my breath – the oceanic tide of it, the circular infinity of it, the connectedness of scents, movements, and nourishment between my breathing and the Great Breath outside my body. As I walked away from the cushion this morning, I felt renewed, delighted and incredibly grateful. The important thing is the practice, not the timing of the practice.